Lesson Learned

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

It seems Superbaby has decided to take his evening constitutional* in the tub from now until ... well, until he decides to stop, I guess. I noticed a small pooplette floating in the water when Superbaby made to pick it up. I contained my freakout (OMG! THE BABY HAS HIS HAND ON POOP! POOP ON HIS FINGERS! POOP! AND I THINK HE'S GOING TO PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH! OMG! OMG! OMG!) long enough to scoop everyone out of the tub. As I was reaching for the Soft Scrub (with bleach!), Superbaby realized he wasn't finished. 

You do know where this is going, don't you?

Yeah. Superbaby pooped on the floor. If you thought it was funny to see a turd floating in the tub, you'd love POOP ON THE FLOOR.

I'm calling Mike Rowe. I bet no one has asked him to come film motherhood. It's a damn dirty job.

When Gus got wind of what was happening, he began to giggle. And Dashing Husband put on his Deep Man Voice again. And lo! The boys, they did not listen.  The very damp and very naked baby crawled out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, where he began to systematically remove all the silverware from the dishwasher. While he was thus occupied, I scrubbed the tub and refilled it with Poop-Free Water. The bath was recommenced and this time, completed.

The end.

*Apparently, the colloquial use of this phrase is "to poop." However, the actual dictionary definition of "constitutional" is "a walk taken regularly for one's health."  So, a walk at night? Or a satisfying bowel emptying? Choose your own adventure!