It's My Birthday Month!

Next Sunday I will be 27 years old.

27.

I remember being seven and thinking, "I wonder what I will be like when I am 22?" I always thought that getting older meant that somehow you would feel different. That suddenly I would Know Things and I would Drive a Car and I would Push the Cart all by myself at the grocery store. I would also Stay Up Late, as late as I wanted.

But as I've gotten older, I've realized that getting older doesn't mean I have all the answers and it certainly doesn't mean that I get whatever I want. The journey from there to here, however, has been full of unexpected and delicious moments.

When I got to college and lived on my own for the first time, I bought some Pillsbury cookie dough and I kept it in the fridge as a snack. My mother would never let me do that because of the salmonella. Guess what? Not only did I eat the cookie dough as a snack--I also used to stand in front of the refrigerator with the door flung wide for ten, fifteen minutes at a time.

I could never decide what I wanted to eat, but it didn't matter because my father wasn't there to tell me to hurry! and close! the! door!

I remember going grocery shopping for the first time, and realizing that Food Costs Money. Kind of a lot of money, as it turns out. I remember when I started paying all of my own bills, how scary-but-freeing that was.

I remember deciding that I was going to take a trip to Ohio with Dashing Husband (we were just dating at the time) and then taking that trip without permission.

Without permission. Can you tell what a goody-two shoes I was?

I remember getting my tattoo, and how I was kind of a dork because I wanted it on my upper thigh, but I had forgotten to wear shorts. So I had to take off my pants.

But really? The one defining moment of my 27 years on this earth is one connected to Gus. We were still in the hospital and the boy was oh, 26 or so hours old. I had finally gotten up enough nerve to unwrap my baby. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a diaper, and he seemed cold. I wanted to dress him, but for some reason I felt as if I should ask the nurse if that was ok.

When I asked, the nurse looked at me very nicely, and said something to the effect of, "he's yours, do whatever you want." That was the moment I realized that Gus really was mine. I was somebody's mother. Dashing Husband and I had the beginnings of our own tribe.

We can make our own people. In that instant I wanted nothing more than to be good to my baby, to teach him well and watch him grow up. And if I accomplish nothing else for the rest of my life, it won't matter.

I am somebody's mother. The same girl, but better.

Comments

[morganbosley]

Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday Dear Daisy Happy Birthday to you. Ps Please Change the mike myers thing he scares me.

[Princess Toadstool]

Thank you so much for reminding me that being a mom is the greatest adventure one can partake on! Its hard to stay focused on that sometimes when the boy is clinging to your leg screaming because you opened the Nutri Grain bar in the wrong direction! I hope you have a very delightful birthday month, 27...thats so close to be an old fart!

[Mom]

You couldn't have put it more eloquently. You KNOW how special I think motherhood is and YOU were my AHA moment. Love you more than I can say. Mom

[Lorena]

Oh, sistah, I am right there with you with the cookie dough thing. Mmmm mmmm mmmmmmm!

(And, happy birthday!)