Remember when my knitting bag got peed on? Yeah, those were fun times. Since that incident, a dog bed and a pile of blankets have been peed on as well. Want to know a totally awesome way to spend your day? Walking around the house, certain that you smell pee, and trying to locate the source.
We finally pulled the dog crate out of the attic this weekend, and let me tell you, DOGS SUCK. Wolfgang has now spent three nights in a row whimpering frantically in the crate ALL NIGHT LONG. It's this high-pitched puppy whining noise that ends in a pitiful and ear-shattering bark. And it makes me want to stab him in the eyeballs. If it wasn't so damn cold outside at night, you can bet the ranch I would put the dog and the crate on the back porch. Or better yet, in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of a corn field in Nebraska.
This morning, just for fun, Wolfgang took it up a few notches to really frantic barking, which inspired Catcher (the other effing dog who is on my list but for different reasons) to join in by barking along. When I finally hauled myself out of bed to put them outside, they both raced out the door to stand by the back gate, where they barked joyously. AT NOTHING.
We got desperate on Sunday night and dug out the bark collar we haven't used in, I don't know, four years or so. The really awesome thing is that the bark collar has a dead battery, which Wolfgang discovered and used to his advantage, even though he's got the IQ of an amoeba. I don't really like to put the bark collar on the dog, because it delivers an electric shock when barking gets out of control, which is (I admit) mean and cruel--but these days, no one screws with the sleep schedule and lives to tell the story. We will be replacing that battery, and Wolfgang will stay in his crate, all night, quietly, until he remembers that peeing in the house is not allowed.
I HATE DOGS. I'm sure this is just a phase related to being the mother of young children. Only time will tell.
Uhm, does Wolfie need a few days vacation with his cousin Bridgett...?
Posted by: Lorena | December 18, 2007 at 01:43 PM