NaBloPoMo

So, it's that time of year again: National Blog Posting Month. I will be participating for the third straight year.

I don't know why I do this to myself, why do you ask? Anyway, this year I have help. Thanks to the lovely Maggie Mason of Mighty Girl, I will not be throwing my usual run-of-the-mill blah-blah-blah at you. This November, I will bring you something fresh! Something new! Something completely different! In the words of my sister, I will "blog my ass off."

Pinky swear.

Tonight I bring you Suggestion #9: Transform Yourself. She writes:

Being good is hard, and hardly worth the effort. But what if you could just wish away a few of your bad habits? Which annoying personal tics would you choose? And while you're at it, are there any good habits you'd like to magically adopt?

There are so many things about myself that I wish I could change--and I'm not just talking about the size of my boobs (disproportionately large) or butt (flat-ish and not very big) here, people. I'm impatient, easily distracted, and terrible at time management. I am equally bad at budgeting and reading a map. Small things often bother me the most, like the tiny snapping sound of Dashing Husband playing with his toenails while he watches TV, or the moist, chewy sound of The Damn Dog licking herself.

I'm a terrible listener (see above: easily distracted) and am often not as generous as I'd like to be. I cry too easily and am frustratingly inarticulate when I'm angry. I worry a lot, but don't speak of it nearly as much, so most people think I'm laid back and carefree. I'm terrible at making new friends because  meeting people stresses me out, and I don't like to reveal too much about myself unless I know it's safe. I eat too much sugar--I mean, three sugar cubes in my coffee every morning seems excessive.

I hate it when people touch my stuff without asking, especially my food and my very favorite pillow. I always read the last page of a book first. I type with four fingers and am absolutely anal about spelling. I jump to conclusions and never, ever manage to get all the laundry folded. I suck at math and I have no desire to improve my skills, not ever.  I tend to buckle under stress and that's when I start snapping at everyone. Sometimes I realize I am pacing through the house like a caged leopard, ranting and raving about everything. This scares the children; I'm not patient enough with them. I hate to be interrupted when I'm thinking or reading.

If I could magically adopt some good habits, I would choose to be organized. I would choose to be articulate in all circumstances. I would be able to read a map and therefore find my way out of a paper bag. I would get enough exercise and enough rest and I would eat all my vegetables. I would be an excellent money manager. I would never, ever stay up past my bedtime.

What? It could happen. Oh, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.

Comments

[Jac]

I am rooting for the monkeys, b/c that would be SWEET! Although I do like you just the way you are, its great for my comic relief!