On Sunday, Dashing Husband and I forced our children to look at BIRDS in NATURE. Of course this sounds innocuous enough, but apparently looking at BIRDS in NATURE is akin to being flayed alive and left out to hang in a crow's cage.
The whining began before we ever left the house. But, because it was a gorgeous day, and our last of vacation, we the parents forged bravely ahead. "Children!" we said, "You will look at BIRDS in NATURE and you will like it!"
What? Family fun isn't mandatory at your house?
You see, every year a large flock that includes both whooping and sandhill cranes stops in our area on their annual migration route. Because both species are endangered and somewhat hard to spot on your average nature hike, it seemed appropriate to visit the preserve and introduce our children to nature conservation.
Cranes are beautiful if somewhat gangly creatures, and it was a pleasure to see so many of them gathered in one place. Actually, we could hear them before we could see them, and they sounded a lot like geese. At one point something stirred them up all at once, and we got to see them all lift off in unison. I've never seen a flock of birds all flying together except on TV, and it was pretty amazing.
Also out in force were the alligators. They were everywhere, laid out on the banks like tourists at the beach. Hungry, bloodthirsty tourists just waiting for a little kid to fall in the water.
We even saw a mama gator with all her scaly little babies sitting on her back. I've never wished so fervently for a telephoto lens.
We were completey unprepared for the heat. It's January, but it feels like June. It was 80 degrees with no shade for miles. Also, the grapes I bought had seeds. My kids tasted them and then spat them out like they were poisonous. We didn't bring enough food or water on the trail, which really whipped the dissatisfied whining into a frenzy. At one point I found myself threatening to take them all home and make them rake leaves until they turned 18. The beatings will continue until morale improves! These are BIRDS in NATURE! YOU LOVE THIS!
Superbaby was the only one of the children who wanted to walk down the trail. Trouble is, he can't walk yet. Three steps on Christmas morning does not a hiker make.
Gus, who apparently turned 15 last week, informed me that he was "done with nature for the day," and then acted like a tool for pretty much the rest of the hike.
Hey! This is starting to sound like Family Fun Day with my parents! In case you missed it, we're all about the passing on of traditions here at Chez Dada. Of course, we may be done with BIRDS in NATURE forever. I think instead of taking a hike to look at cranes next year, we'll just saw off the kids' legs without anesthesia. I hear that's less painful than BIRDS in NATURE.
Whatever kids, your father and I had a nice time.
Next time, take them on an adventure, give them some binoculars to look through and some canteens full of water so they can slake their thirst. Perhaps a trowel to dig with and a compass so they can know which way they are headed.
Posted by: Cheez | January 06, 2009 at 08:12 PM
And in keeping with tradition, it looked like somebody cried, and as luck would have it, it looks to be the middle child!
Posted by: Jac | January 06, 2009 at 10:28 PM
um... my mother has illegally adopted a family of sandhill cranes. she feeds them cracked corn every day (i know, i know) so they hang around.
you can come to her house and visit them -- they have birds AND airconditioning.
Posted by: mamadaisy | January 07, 2009 at 10:30 AM